How does Hell work?

This is my random thought for the day. How the fuck does Hell actually work? The concept most of us are taught is that, if we are bad people in life, when we die we go to Hell. Satan and his demons then get to torture us for all eternity. Torture what exactly? If we’re dead, then the pain isn’t going to hurt you, you’re already dead! It doesn’t matter if they flay your skin, or eat you alive, or crush you, it’s not going to kill you. As for the pain itself, what would you be feeling with exactly? You have no nerves anymore.

The only way the torture idea would work is if they gave you a flesh and blood body. Even then though, the whole eternity thing makes it a moot point. They can only torture the so much before it falls apart and needs to be replaced. Or perhaps the body regenerates, hurting all over again as it grows back. Still, the experience of pain has a negative context for us mortals because it can result in permanent damage or death. If the damage isn’t permanent, then the pain is just stimulation without context. It would only work on those who insist on still believing they can die.

Actually, I can see how that might work. So what happens who those that realise that it’s an illusion? Do they graduate to demonhood once they learn to enjoy the experience? Are the demons actually trying to encourage new souls to realise that they’re no longer mortal? In some of the old stories, truly heroic, great or legendary individuals ascend to godhood when they die. Perhaps the true purpose in life is to give people a second chance to realise that all that’s holding them back is their own fear of consequences that won’t ever come.

This of course doesn’t work in the modern concept of Hell, because only the obedient, docile and ‘good’ go to heaven. So the only way Hell could be a second chance, must be to beating the dead into submission until they are also obedient, docile and good also. In fact the Devil himself is supposed to be there as punishment also for leading the rebellion. I wonder if he ever broke? Or if he’s still imprisoned, tortured, defying the almighty and encouraging the souls of Hell not to break? Did Satan eventually beg for forgiveness and go bed to his Father, humbled and beaten? Presumably if god is all-powerful then the only reason why Lucifer would be able to rebel in the first place was if it was god’s will.

And that spins the whole scenario around again! If god wanted the Morningstar to lead a rebellion, it would have been to demonstrate that god is all-powerful and cannot be overthrown by his own creation. Presumably as a cautionary tale in case us mortals get any ideas. Of course Lucifer didn’t have to be aware of this, god could have just pulled his strings to make him do it. If so then Satan is god’s puppet and therefore anything the Devil does is god’s will. Lucifer was chosen to be the punisher of evil, punishing him for doing what he was supposed to do is a dick move. The alternative, is the Devil was in on the plan, and that  Lucifer was entrusted to embody evil and be the scapegoat for everything that sucks. That in return he rules Hell and keeps the torture wheels turning.

Anyway. My point was this. What the Hell is Hell actually for? “To punish the bad people.” For what purpose? “Because they were bad and need to be punished.” Who says? “God does.” But god gave us the choice right? “Yes, we’re supposed to be good and go to heaven, but it wouldn’t mean anything unless we choose to be good willingly” So you get to go to heaven because you willingly sacrifice your personal goals in the service of god? “Yep!” And you go to hell and get tortured for eternity if you don’t? “Well, yeah. If your bad.” So what happens to the people who never do anything good or bad? “God forgives them and they go to heaven.” So laziness and mediocrity get a free pass? What’s the incentive to be good? “Because it’s the right thing to do, and because it’s easy to sin.” It’s easy to sin? So basically as long as you never sin ever, you can avoid going to Hell, but if you sin just once. Ever. Then it’s Hellfire for all eternity? “Exactly” And that brings me back to my first point. Why is Hell an effective punishment if you’re already dead!!


Girlfriend Interviews

That’s the crazy idea I woke up with this morning. Probably not an original thought, and it seems a little shady and degrading to me. What right do I have to expect women to line up for a chance to date me? The very idea of expecting people to sell themselves, showing off their hobbies and interests, wearing something nice, and demonstrating their overall loveliness is condescending, crass and rude. Nevertheless it got me thinking. What would I be looking for in an ideal candidate?

If I do ever decide to be with someone again, I know that I want that person to be my equal. I want her to have her own interests and hobbies. With the time and effort that I’m putting into my writing, I really don’t have the time to be someone’s primary source of entertainment. She needs to have the self-confidence to know that she could have anyone, but that she chooses to spend time with me because we’re on the same page. I also want to be able to have a respectful conversation if and when either one of us decides they’d like to explore other options.

I don’t want a clone. Having an exact duplicate would only compound my weaknesses. Plus, an exact duplicate would be physically incompatible also. Sadly, I’m not gay, bi or pan. In fact my sexual interests are fairly specific. I like boobies. At least I like the ones I look at online. To my recurring frustration, the girls I date don’t look anyway near as hot as their online counterparts. I understand that I’m comparing people who have real, everyday lives, to people who make a living from being hot, and that’s hardly fair. It also wouldn’t be fair to me or my potential partner to ignore the fact I want her to be attractive, and become deeply disappointed in the relationship when I have to start lying through my teeth everyday to save her self-esteem. Plus lying about anything inevitably leads to a break up. Knowing that, I have a tendency to begin looking for an exit strategy as soon I think about lying.

Lies would be unacceptable. I prefer to trust someone completely to begin with, assuming that they are being honest with me at all times. That means that if you’re suddenly unable to do what you had planned to do, particularly if you’ve told me you would, it get disappointed. The more often I’m disappointed, the more I’m sure I’ve make a bad choice. Let me clarify. I don’t expect anyone to do anything just because I’ve asked (or told) them too. I respect that whomever-she-might-be will have her own stuff to do. I’d love it if she had her own stuff to do. She may not have the time or the opportunity to do the favor I’ve asked. I don’t want someone I need, or that needs me. I might pout a little, but I’d much rather they were too busy, than say they’d do it and then let me down.

When we have downtime, I understand that she may not wish to use all of it with me. We all need alone time, to work on ourselves and our pet projects. When we do hang out,  I expect conversations about mutual interests, emotion expression of personal concerns, solutions only when requested, and also the watching of nerdy movies and tv shows, the playing of nerdy games, and a bit of playful intimacy. I’m not sure where I am on the libido scale. I know I like to look at nudity, particularly breasts, and that I thoroughly enjoy the feel of skin against skin. I know the my urges when I’m alone are often greater than when I’m with a girlfriend. I’m also aware that my choices so far, and my motivations for my choices, were not ideal. There was one girl who drew me wild when I looked at her, but her anxiety issues prevented any physical fun. It’s a real shame, because we clicked on so many other levels.

I have a silly fantasy about a woman deliberately nudging, touching and jiggling her exposed breasts as we play a nerdy card game and listen to Rob Zombie or Rammstein. Naked in the kitchen, except for an apron, is a recurring one too. She should probably expect more play and teasing from me than actual sex. Unless they’re somehow so incredibly hot that I devolve into a sex-crazed ape, which seems like an unrealistic expectation on both sides.

I guess what I’m looking for is a woman who wants to use some of her free time to play games, watch movies and let a somewhat handsome (so I’m told) british nerdy goth-on-a-budget writer fondle her breasts.


So far so good

I enjoy writing articles for Don’t Hate the Geek. I had originally planned to publish a copy of each article here, so that I could keep and online portfolio of everything that gets published. However, it was made clear that having the same article in more than one location would dilute the search results and result in fewer people visiting the version hosted by DHTG.

The last week of April I noticed that I wasn’t getting any writing done after work. So I switched to late shifts this month. I’m only 2 days in and I’m already feeling much better about how my writing output. I didn’t actually submit an article this morning, but I got 2 in yesterday, and actually got a little further with my creative writing.

I have a few creative writing projects at the moment, most of which have reached a point where I don’t know where to go from here. My sci-fi story, about a ship that has to take care of itself after the crew dies, hit a wall a while ago. I wasn’t sure how a major, but so far background, character would react to meeting the ship. I decided to go back and write some of his story, so that I know what brought him to this point. It feels good to have the story moving again. More on that another time.

This is also the first month living without my girlfriend (ex girlfriend) and her 16 year old daughter. The apartment is blissfully free of distractions and clutter, besides those I make myself. My new roommate is awesome. He’s already demonstrated that he’s much cleaner and more considerate than those I had been living with before.

So, life is pretty good right now. 🙂

Taking the first step…

…on a grand adventure.

‘Don’t Hate the Geek’ recently offered me the chance to become a contributor. I’m very excited by this, but I feel a little like Samwise Gamgee leaving the Shire.

This is it, the furthest I have ever traveled on my writing path. So far all of the writing I’ve done has been close to home, where I feel safe. It’s been nice filling notepads with half written stories and disembodied ideas, creating worlds with like-minded people, and even putting some of my writing online, and tell everyone that someday I’m going to be a famous author. It’s time to stop talking and start doing. I’m excited to start taking riskier steps, through unexplored territory. I’m feeling foolish and inexperienced, yet thrilled, as I watch the treeline for bandits, wild beasts, and interesting side-paths.

I’m writing this just to swish the air with practice swings of my pen. I’ve not been asked too, I just wanted to express my gratitude that have been granted this opportunity, this excuse, to get out there and show the world what I can do. I’m the new apprentice, a trainee adventurer, feeling awkward in armor I inexpertly made myself, but not for long. I can feel in my bones that this experience will be fantastic. I’ll make new allies and overcome obstacles, challenges and monstrous conditions that I never knew I could. This will make better a better, faster stronger writer, and be a lot of fun too.

An ex would say “people die on adventures”, and maybe my writing career will falter, and I will find myself struggling to continue. If I don’t pull through, at least I will have tried. So here I go, taking the first step away from the comfortable and homely, and head out on my journey towards a life I can be proud of. Besides, you can’t level up without gaining experience. By the time I’m defeated and forced to give in, I might already be considered a legend, and legends never die. Even if I’m devoured, it’ll make one hell of a story.

Thank you to everyone who’s helped me prepare for this, and to ‘Don’t Hate the Geek’ for giving me a chance. I’m very excited about being involved, and seeing what challenges lie ahead.

Deus Ex Machina

I used to claim I knew what was going on, to have figured how life worked, and I was almost proud of the fact that most of them were wrong. Having gained enough experience to see how often my assumptions proved false, I lowered my expectations. Imagine my surprise when, having decided to take my desire to become a writer seriously, I saw an opportunity to write for a blog called ‘Don’t hate the geek’. I applied, got asked to write something, and was asked to be a contributor!

This is the article I wrote them:

Do we really need a sequel trilogy for Avatar?

Avatar Hairstyles 3

I remember when the trailers for James Cameron’s ‘Avatar’ came out. It looked amazing. The first of a new generation of movies that would show us how incredible 3D movies could be and convince us all to throw out our brand-new HDTV and get a 3DTV instead. I was so excited when I went to see it, but I probably couldn’t tell you anything about the movie except the broad strokes. A veteran soldier is called back to active duty so that his mind can be transferred into a bioengineered alien body designed for his brother. He becomes friends with the native aliens, and there’s a big fight. I think the natives win? I’m really not sure. It was that forgettable.


For some reason though enough people liked it for it to do well at the box office for James Cameron to want to make more movies featuring tall blue tribal aliens. He’s even using his considerable pull in Hollywood to delay the new Star Wars schedule, which I’m a little pissed about. Altogether he has 3 movies in the works, in addition to his Avatar inspired Cirque Du Soleil show “Toruk”.


[Toruk video – ]


“Christmas of ’17 is the target,” Cameron announced. “But I don’t consider that to be as important as the fact that when we get all three films done, we drop them a year apart. I call it a meta-narrative that runs across the three movies. Each film stands alone, but it also tells one much larger story.”


Personal feelings aside, does seem to have put a lot of work into the background for the next movies. “We have decided to embark on a truly massive cinematic process,” said Cameron, “We have design more or less finished, which is an enormous task. It’s been about a two-year task. (We’ve finished) all the creatures and the landscapes, and the new worlds within the world of Pandora that you see. The writing is ongoing, but almost finished. Technical development is done. Stages are done. Infrastructure. So we’re really poised to start after the first of the year.”


“I’ve been working the last couple of years with a team of four top screenwriters,” he said, “to design the world of Avatar going forward: the characters, the creatures, the environment, the new cultures.” As a fan of a well written and in-depth storyline, I want to believe that the additional care and attention that Cameron is taking over the upcoming trilogy will make up for any disappointment we got from the first movie. “So far, the art I’m seeing is in pure imagination, really far beyond the first film,” he added. “It’s going to be a true epic saga.”


Don’t let me down James Cameron.


Watch the interview here: